Yay Sean and Sarah!

Turkeys of Love

2008-11-26T11:54:00.001-05:00

Do I hear a faint gobbling? Where is that coming from? It seems to be coming from everywhere...

1-Year Anniversary

2008-10-25T18:45:00.003-04:00

365 days of YAY!

How is it possible to simultaneously feel like we've been together for ages and like we haven't spent enough time together to add up to a year?

What We Have Been Up To

2008-10-01T12:53:00.004-04:00

The Triumphant Opening of the Coffee Shop Downstairs- and, after a few weeks of faithful attendance, our not-so-triumphant escape from the clutches of its needy owner.

The Fish Taco Incident- in which a well-meaning Sean accidentally spent half the afternoon bringing home enough fish tacos for a platoon after Sarah mentioned that she liked them.

Amish House-Hunting in Ohio- from Sunday, Aug. 24 to Wednesday, Aug. 27. Included grave-hunting and Ski-buying.

The Start of the School Year- Eight classes on four different campuses for Sean. Four classes on one campus for Sarah. Guess who's doing all the complaining? Not who the statistics would indicate, but exactly who you'd expect.

Horrible Horror Movie Marathon- that lasted only two weeks. Sean was only in it for the banjo advice.

The Bunny-Meets-Lawnmower Near-Tragedy- when a little bunny ran out from under the lawnmower as Sean was making the last pass. He'd run over a whole nest of them without chopping up a single one!

Sarah's Birthday- which brought with it lunch at New Samosa, a new balalaika, a shiny iPod Nano, an Egyptian Hippo statue, a squeezable cow that scares the fuck out of Parsley, and singing lessons! Mates of State, watch your backs.

Dinner at Antonietta's- after living here for five years, Sarah finally tries their penne a la vodka. And Sean dives into it face-first. Next on the to-do list: find a reliable source of cheap vodka sauce for Sean to satisfy the addiction he never knew he had.

Breakfast at Nifty Fifty's- even though Sean no longer lives down the street. The milkshake was fantabulous.

College Day on the Parkway- counting peas at the Mendel exhibit and looking at mummies at Penn's Anthropology Museum. How did we spend that much money on a supposedly free event?!

The Zombie Prom- staggering around like zombies on the dance floor of the Troc. It seemed like everyone wanted to talk to us that night.

Halloween/Housewarming Party- plans are in the works. It's about time we finished unpacking. I guess.

A Post on Our Adorable Blog- you're looking at it.

The 29th

2008-08-09T23:59:00.008-04:00

I turned 29 today. It's a rougher milestone than I had anticipated. I've never wanted to be older, even during the I-know-everything-so-why-is-the-world-out-to-keep-me-down teenage years. Autonomy's overrated, if only because the trade off is proximity to death. I've overcompensated lately by acting increasingly more juvenile.

Fortunately, Sarah's still putting up with me. I spent the better part of my birthday with her. This came at a great time: yesterday I came home for good after six weeks at nerd camp. Sure, I had returned home on weekends, and Sarah would visit almost every week, but it wasn't pretty. Missing hurts.

This morning, Sarah started by making tea for us. We drank it while I opened the bevy of books, DVDs, clothes, and school supplies she got me. I'm a fan of her gift-wrapping skills:

Sarah then baked a birthday cake, which is FANTASTIC.

For lunch, Sarah took me to a local Indian restaurant for even more NOMNOMNOMing. Sufficiently stuffed, we then both went to work.*

Since she works late, I got home first tonight. I'm writing this while waiting for Sarah to come home. I'm missing her, as usual. But life's so much better knowing that we'll be falling asleep together every night from now on.

Thanks, Sarah. The nook's waiting!

* "Why are you working on your birthday?" the waitress at my job asked me. "Because he's not half a fag," my boss graciously replied on my behalf. "Actually, I don't know about that..." I said.

8 Months!

2008-06-25T01:00:00.000-04:00

Happy 8-Month Anniversary!

New York!

2008-06-23T09:55:00.003-04:00

A week after we went to the Widow McCrea house, we went to NYC. We were going to go the previous week, but it was 99 degrees outside and Sarah was bitching.

On Tuesday, June 17th, though, the weather was beautiful! We:

got all-day passes and rode the subway everywhere
ate breakfast at the Manhattan Diner
took pictures of Sean by the Philosophy sign, and took pictures of Sarah hiding in the giant Crinkle statue
walked through Times Square
had an orange cream float in Bryant Park
went for a bicycle rickshaw ride around Central Park
felt guilty because the man pedalling the bike was old enough to be our father
climbed around on rocks in the park
ate lunch at a moderately bad Indian restaurant
visited the Municipal Building, where Sean used to work
sat around in City Hall Park
bought a few books at the Strand
picked up dinner to go from Sean's favorite lunch truck

It was a tiring but very fun day, and we have decided that someday we should live there. Sean already knew that.

Bed and Breakfast, Part Deux!

2008-06-23T09:39:00.003-04:00

It has been too long between posts.

On Tuesday, June 10th, we went to our second bed and breakfast together: The Widow McCrea House in Frenchtown, NJ.

We:

watched a thunderstorm from the front porch
dried off in the sitting room while listening to classical guitar music that eminated from everywhere and nowhere at once
ate dinner at The Shack and were not dragged to death behind a local's pickup truck
got snacks and things at the Kwik-E-Mart
were surrounded by every type of winged insect Frenchtown had to offer
had breakfast with Lynn, our gracious hostess, who told us about a cool old graveyard down the road
stopped at the cool old graveyard down the road, where Sar took pictures and Sean pursued a couple cats
drove home in time for Sarah to go to work

Happy 6-Month Anniversary!

2008-04-25T15:45:00.002-04:00

Half a year. :)

It's Official

2008-04-01T00:19:00.001-04:00

Today was the last day of Sean's lease. This means we are officially a team. Roommates.

Living in sin.

So far, so good.

Moving Week!

2008-03-18T15:02:00.001-04:00

This week is spring break at the college; we are taking this opportunity to move in together.

The U-haul is rented for Friday. We have a lot to do before then.

Fun!

Lazy... Togethar!

2008-03-07T10:22:00.003-05:00

Have we seriously not posted anything since Valentine's Day?! We are masters of procrastination and laziness.

But rest assured, we've been procrastinating together.

I need a label for this post, and it doesn't really apply to any of them so far. So, with that in mind:

Valentine's Day #1

2008-02-18T08:49:00.003-05:00

This was our first Valentine's Day.

It was after three a.m. early Thursday morning when Sean gave me my presents. He'd just picked me up from work. He got me:

a Mars Volta CD
a pair of earrings I'd been covetting
a soap dispenser shaped like an adorable alligator with a heart in its mouth, and a matching handtowel
Legos!
two fancy bars of chocolate
a sweet card

Sean had to wait for his presents until after his Thursday night class. I got him:

two gift certificates to local diners
more Chapstick
paper clips (for throwing at students) and dry-erase markers
Scattergories
three more logical fallacy sock puppets

Not too long after he'd left home for his class, he called and asked if I could bring him up his quizzes; that made my night because I got to see him early, and I got to see his class. Also, I got to be the hero, because even though I brought quizzes for them to take, I also brought them chocolate.

After class and presents we went to Erawan, where we had gone on our first date. It was awesome.

When I Fell In Love With Sarah

2008-02-14T00:00:00.003-05:00

"Do you have a blog?"

The question caught me off guard. We were discussing news and media in the middle of a logic class. Well, the logic class. The class where Sarah and I first met.

It was the Fall of 2006, so I didn't have the 4 4,0 0 0 b l o g s I d o n o w. Still, I had one: I had just started a mean-spirited blog as an inside joke among friends. Given the blog's uncharitable nature, I was reticent to reveal its existence to the class.

"No," I replied, after a brief pause.

Sarah saw right through my lie.

Later that day, my blog received a comment:

"I knew my logic professor was lying when he said he didn't have a blog! And why didn't we get to learn about all those -isms? ... My supreme Google-stalking skills alone should earn me more -isms, if not extra credit.
-Sarah"

I was impressed. Her Google-stalking skills themselves weren't too impressive--my online presence is needily transparent. What thrilled me were the facts that she figured out I was lying, and that she cared enough to research her hunch.

Sarah's comment also came with a link to her blogger profile. Of course, I clicked on it. Oh, my.

Sarah had a blog, too.

The next two days were a blur. I stayed up late the first night devouring as much of her blog as I could. I had difficulty falling asleep. The next day my approach was more deliberate. I devoted all of a ten-hour shift at an office job to close reading.

I fell in love with Sarah on November 30th, 2006, somewhere during the second or third reread of the September archives.

Before this, I already liked Sarah. She was by far the smartest student I'd ever met. I credit her presence for making my logic notes as good as they are. When preparing lessons, I pushed myself to add--hell, to learn--advanced topics specifically so that I wouldn't bore her.

But on November 30th, a Thursday toward the end of the semester, I fell in love.

Her writing stuck out first. Sarah writes so well. She is a great storyteller: her prose is interesting, and clear, and funny. She can cut to the heart of an issue with a single sentence, placed at just the right moment in the middle of a story.

Her intelligence stood out next. I found that Sarah is even smarter than I realized in class. I admire her intellectual curiosity. We both have a friend in Wikipedia, but her deep friendship with it makes me jealous. Furthermore, I'm amazed at her intellectual vigor. She never seems satisfied with an "I don't know," although, self-aware and modest as she is, she's always willing to own her ignorance. She'll research until she uncovers the answer, along with myriad tangentially-related points of interest.

More than anything, while reading her blog I discovered how interesting she is. I have trouble explaining this one. I tried telling my friends about this aspect of her right before we started dating. Something about Sarah's personality and her approach to life makes her seem designed for me. Our pieces fit. Again, I'm failing at explaining this, but it's there.

On December 1st, I began suppressing, denying, and otherwise psychological-impedimenting the feelings I had for Sarah. "She's a student," I reprimanded myself. "You can't pursue this."

Fortunately, my attempts at self-delusion wound up unsuccessful.

I love you, Sarah. Happy Valentine's Day.

Random Points of Note

2008-02-09T13:25:00.000-05:00

Our stack of diner-placemat evaluation forms continues to grow. Next blog: Diners of South Jersey!
On the bunny front:
- Thanks to the gate between the living room and the bedroom, new pellets no longer turn up in the bedroom.
- And now he's crapping all over the living room.
- How did he lose that patch of fur on his nose? Probably sticking his little face somewhere it didn't belong.
- He can now scale the entertainment center! Clearly, Parsley is a super-bunny.
We are moving in together at the end of this month!
- Sean's mom's reaction: "You know I don't approve of that." Otherwise, fine.
- Sarah's dad's reaction, when told that Sean is moving in: "HERE?!" When reassured that Sean will not be moving into Sarah's parents' house, but, in fact, into Sarah's place: "Oh."
- Sarah's landlord's reaction to the news: an extra $25 dollars a month, and "So is this the real deal?" You're fucking right it is.
- Sean's ~~giant rental unit management corporation's~~ landlord's reaction to the news: "Bend over while I crinkle this aluminum foil condom around my gigantic, heartless dick. As far as the fees, fines, and tariffs go, you have your choice of payment options: you can open a vein into the Broken Lease Bucket (conveniently located in our office), relinquish several of your children to us, or make out a check or money order directly to the Gigantic, Heartless Dick itself."
- See sidebar for a list of Things To Do Before Move-In. They are many.
Our first Valentine's Day is this Thursday. We're going to Erawan, where we went on our first date. Hopefully we can also go stand around on the roof, weather permitting.
We have scads of new neighbors.
Yesterday, when Sarah walked into her parents' house to see her nephew, the first thing he said after "Hi!" was "Where's Sean?"
Oh, yeah. Who keeps stopping by from Germany? SHOW YOURSELF. Why are you reading our blog?!

Five Minutes

2008-01-27T21:35:00.000-05:00

Sean drives me to work because it gives us a chance to see each other up until the second I start my shift and, afterwards, as soon as I get out. Otherwise we'd have to waste an entire half hour on either side of the shift while he waited for me to drive home. It sounds inconsequential, but it adds up to over a hundred hours a year, which is just over FOUR STRAIGHT DAYS of not seeing each other.

And we can't have that.

For me, it makes my night much better knowing that when I'm done I'm going to see him parked outside waiting for me, and I'm going to get in the car and jump into his arms. At the end of the night, rather than being irritable and wrenching half-full bottles out of customers' hands to get them out of the bar faster, I'm happy. Sean will be there soon.

I guess there wasn't anything special about last night. It was just really good. We stared at each other long and hard when I got in the car (as if it'd been weeks since we last saw each other), and sat there hugging and kissing for a while, then talked all the way back to Jersey, and wound up at the diner down the street from my place at 3 o'clock in the morning filling out the back of a placemat with our critique of the meal, as we've been doing at every diner lately (the stack of placemats is growing steadily).

As we walked out to the car, we talked about how we couldn't wait to be in our pajamas (well, me in my pajamas, and Sean in his t-shirt and boxers) and under the covers. He proposed that we could set a record.
"I think we could do it in five minutes," he said.
"From the time we get home?" I asked.
"No, from now," he said. And it was on.

We had to drive home, unlock the door and get inside, feed the bunny, brush our teeth, set the alarm, and get in our pajamas before we got in bed.

Six minutes later, we were.

Three Months

2008-01-25T14:56:00.000-05:00

We made it!

Nicknames

2008-01-17T02:56:00.000-05:00

This week we visited Sarah's relatives in Ohio. My name was apparently difficult to remember. During the trip, I was called:

Josh
John
Shane
Bubba
Jessica
Butt Fungus
Fuck Face

I had a great time.

Excuse Me, Germany?

2008-01-03T13:41:00.000-05:00

...and Other Assorted Topics

So we've noticed an unusual amount of site traffic from Germany and we're pretty sure we don't know any Germans. Hi. We're Sean and Sarah. We'd like to know who you are.

This morning we were drinking tea in Sarah's kitchen. "A squirrel!" Sean exclaimed. "With an Oreo!" Sarah looked up to see a squirrel carrying an Oreo cookie in its mouth, momentarily standing still in front of the window before scampering across her porch.
"Awww, we have to get married!" Sean continued, excitedly. "I've never seen a better sign!" And then the squirrel ran away, and we ran to the window. Goodbye, Wedding Squirrel! Thanks for the sign!

The past few Thursdays we've been holding court at Jul's place for dinner and nephew-wrangling. The highlight of last Thursday came when the baby dumped out one of Jul's shopping bags and among the items scattered on the floor was El Arto del Sexo Oral, a hilarious Spanish self-help book replete with illustrations.
"Does mine look like that?" Sarah asked Sean, holding up a black-and-white sketch.
"No," he replied, "yours doesn't look like a screaming chinchilla." And then several of us fell on the floor laughing.

This was our first Christmas together. From Sean, Sarah got:

an xkcd hoodie
an assortment of very tiny turtles
an antique tin sign that says "Drunkenness Prohibited"
Season 3 of Lost
The Abstinence Teacher by Tom Perrotta
an awesome blanket
a new track mouse (secretly, he's sick of mine sticking)
a homemade, Sarah-tailored crossword puzzle

From Sarah, Sean got:

an xkcd hoodie
a plain black default hoodie
argyle socks
-Isms and -Ologies by Arthur Goldwag
Kitten Wars (the book)
assorted stocking stuffers: a plastic dinosaur, Mad Libs, Wooly Willy, and a can of octopus in pickled sauce
homemade logical fallacy sock puppets

We spent Christmas Eve at Sarah's parents' house, Christmas morning at Sean's parents' house, and Christmas evening at the only open diner in five towns.

We both wore our xkcd hoodies to Sean's friends' New Year's Eve party, and received adequate derision for it. We kissed at midnight.

Sean finished grading; Sarah is still waiting for some of her grades.

Finally, Sean would like an excuse to use the "Bear of Justice" tag, and this is it.

Our Epistolary Novel

2008-01-03T13:22:00.000-05:00

When Sarah works, we text. A lot. Here's yesterday's exchange:

Sean (3:28): Thanks for letting me hang at the bar!
Sean (3:40): 11 hours! OK, too early to count down.
Sean (4:08): Any patrons?
Sarah (4:26): Nope! But I love you.
Sean (4:28): As you should. I've put forth all my energy making myself lovable.
Sean (5:09): Grading and thinking of you. This is who I am.
Sean (5:17): I was grading and thinking of you before we were dating.
Sean (5:52): I'm covering for Ray at pizza on Sat. 11-5. He can't cover for me next Sunday- he's already working for my dad!
Sarah (5:54): Aww :-} One customer. Grade like you've never graded before!
Sarah (5:55): Simultexting! :)
Sean (5:57): Wish you were busier! I'm a grade monster. I added this sentence to reference your simul-text text.
Sean (6:11): From a final: Q: 'List 2 criticisms of utilitarianism.' A: 'No.'
Sean (6:31): Is it at least relaxing at [your bar] today? How's your headache?
Sarah (6:50): Head still hurts, but that answer is fucking awesome.
Sean (6:51): HOW CAN I HELP??? I'm a big fan of the answer, too.
Sarah (8:08): Six and a half hours!
Sean (8:09): Yay! Super-misses!
Sean (8:34): I AM DONE GRADING FOR THE FALL SEMESTER. Want me to check your grades?
Sean (8:38): 6 hours! (A more respectable time to start counting down) I got someone to cover for me next Sunday.
Sarah (8:46): YES PLEASE CHECK MY GRADES! Good thing about Sunday. So I'm driving myself on Saturday?
Sean (8:51): One more A! In lit or stat, I forget which you knew. No anthro grade. If I drove you in, you'd prob be late. But I wanna!
Sarah (9:00): Congrats on finishing grading, and thanks for getting mine! I can drive myself to work for a day :) Good for you, picking up shifts!
Sean (9:08): I'll try to get out 15 minutes early, then I could drive you in on time.
Sean (9:15): 202 students this semester. 72 A's, 60 B's, 31 C's, 10 D's, 3 F's.
Sean (10:11): Four and a half hours! Lurve supreme.
Sean (10:57): Busy at all so far?
Sarah (10:59): Nope! What are you up to? Did the Parsley wash out of our pillow?
Sean (11:10): Not done drying yet. I'm cleaning up the semester's paperwork and taking down my xmas apt stuff. I can't wait to see you.
Sean (11:15): You're getting a snack tonight. Think on it!
Sarah (11:55): Two and a half hours! I love you! Thinking of snacks...
Sean (11:58): I love you so much. Time's standing still. Tired at all?
Sarah (11:59): Not tired, but time sure is standing still, Looking at your picture and thinking about touching you.
Sean (12:01): Soon enough... I hope. Time isn't really standing still, is it?
Sarah (12:16): Oh my goodness it's slow. Approx. 2 hours until I touch you again.
Sean (12:23): Can't wait! Headache? Snack?
Sarah (12:28): No headache! Snack: a store-boughten rice krispie treat. BTW, it is fucking freezing in here! Can you check for my last grade?
Sean (12:39): Yay clean head! It's freezing outside! No heat still? Why? No new grade. :(
Sarah (12:42): The lightswitch that got wet and sparky controls half the heaters. :-(
Sean (12:49): It's been a week! It's winter! FIX THE DAMN HEAT
Sean (1:18): So close! Will it ever get here?!?
Sarah (1:25): Soon! I can't wait for the heater in your car
Sean (1:27): I'll full-blast it the whole ride over!
Sarah (1:40): SO CLOSE
Sean (1:41): NOW EVEN CLOSER
Sarah (1:48): Counting out now!
Sean (1:49): Omg on my way!
Sarah (2:06): Ready when you are!
Sean (2:10): 10 minutes!
Sarah (2:11): Anticipation!
Sean (2:26): Pulled over! There soon.
Sarah (2:28): Aww! I'll be here. No tickets! :)
Sarah (2:29): In Philly or Jersey?
Sean (2:30): 3 blocks away

We Did It!

2007-12-25T22:21:00.000-05:00

OK, so it took a while, but we finally kissed on the roof, on Christmas night, exactly two months after the first balk.

Merry Christmas, Sarah. These have been the best two months.

Yay! YAY!

2007-12-14T19:37:00.000-05:00

Just another reason to love Sean: he altered the tiny turtle on my computer's desktop so that it now says exactly what I thought it was saying. Look at its face. That turtle is happy!

Joint Breakfast Post

2007-12-08T10:04:00.000-05:00

We are writing this post over breakfast at Sean's dining table. On the table are the following items:

Coffee.
Creamer.
Sugar.
Toast.
Light margarine ("It's good. I'll have to get that," Sarah says).
Cinnamon.
Sugar (again).
A chocolate bar.
A paper heart.
A lit candle.
Pictures of us, so we can stare at each other... when we're not staring at each other.
Ibuprofin (for a persistent headache).
Orange juice.
Cereal.
An excess of spoons (due to miscommunication).
The internet.

There's also a corner of the table with a pile of things that just happen to be there:

An old printer.
A pumpkin.
An old Christmas stocking.
Some Christmas gifts.
The Giver by Lois Lowry.
An old failed test (not one of ours).

We're enjoying life.

Thank You

2007-12-04T17:47:00.000-05:00

Sean does a lot of awesome things. Here is a partial, and ever-expanding, list of the awesome things he does (specifically, the ones he does for me):

Drives me to work, then picks me up at 3:00 in the morning with a snack and blanket for me, twice a week- so we spend a little more time together.
Washes our dishes and cleans up after my bunny. The bunny part is not pleasant.
Patiently talks me out of my petty spite and resentment, thereby chipping away at my stupid grudge against the world at large and making me a better, more pleasant person.
Gives me a massage whenever I ask, and sometimes when I don't ask, but never asks for one in return.
Likes my excessively comma-ed, overly hyphenated, list-intensive writing.
Reminds me, through example, to be grateful every day that I'm alive.
Compliments me often, honestly, and when I least expect it, but just gets shy and looks at the floor when I compliment him.
Feeds me: at the diner, at Wawa, at work, at home, and everywhere in between. Lets me feed him back, too.
Warms my icy toes, keeps me covered when I sleep, and remembers to bring my mittens for me because goodness knows I won't.
Has never ignored me, walked away from me, raised his voice at me, or gotten frustrated or impatient with me, and has given me the distinct impression that he never will, either.
Introduces me to new, different music that I wouldn't have found on my own, and then burns/buys me cds.
Sends me cards all the time.
Has met my parents, hangs out with my sisters, plays with my nephew, and brings me along to hang out with his family and friends; more importantly, he really wants to hang out with my family and share his friends with me.
Laughs at me when I do or say something cute or funny (even if it isn't very much of either), but not when I do or say something regretful or embarrassing.
Is saving every scrap of paper related to our relationship in a neat stack, including ticket stubs, receipts, comics, and menus. Is also compiling a list of our quotes and inside jokes.
Listens quietly, patiently, attentively, and thoughtfully.
Reassures me and makes me feel safe.
Respects me.
Trusts me.
Loves me.

If I should ever do something to hurt this man, may lightning strike me dead. Actually, lightning might not be enough. If I should ever do something to hurt this man, may I fail all of my classes and then, as I'm walking out to the parking lot with my terrible transcript, may ants swarm out of the ground and bite me with their thousand tiny pincers as I get mauled by a bear and then may I be struck by the aformentioned lightning, but let me not die, nay, but instead be merely set on fire, so that when I get into my car with my blackened (yet still terrible) transcript trailing ants as I do so to escape the mauling Bear of Justice, may my flaming clothes and hair set my car also on fire, and may that burn to the ground with me, my crispy and terrible transcript, the ants whose poor taste it was to bite into a hide undeserving of even their small but malicious attention, and lastly my cold, cruel, Sean-harming heart. Amen.

P.S. By the by, I was tempted to add "IS ALL KINDS OF HANDSOME" in there somewhere but that's not something he does specifically for me, so it belongs on the list of Sean's Awesome Attributes instead, right up there with "painfully funny" and "painfully logical".

P.P.S. I love Sean.

Our First Joint Post

2007-11-23T23:39:00.000-05:00

Things we did in the past 24 hours:

Met Sean's friends (and one anti-friend). Most were OK.
Spent the morning in bed with tea, cookies, and internet.
Picked up rabbit crap. Everywhere.
Lysolled the rabbit's favorite corners. Definitely not a permanent solution.
Went to a diner. Started- and quickly stopped- a crossword puzzle; the waitress busted us kissing over our newspaper (and said we were cute).
~~Stared at each other over unfinished schoolwork~~ Did schoolwork together.
Discovered that the door to the laundromat in Sean's building has a lock.
Demonstrated Sean's... sufficient... cooking skills (spiral pasta).
Got distracted by Sean's hoodie. SEAN: ...and you don't care about anything I'm saying, do you? SARAH: (drops hoodie strings; feigns attentiveness) Yes I am!
Wrote this post together. <3

What?!? Why?!? Oh.

2007-11-21T17:19:00.000-05:00

Recently, we hung out at the bar Sarah tends on one of her off nights. It was great. We shot pool, listened to loud music, kissed a lot, and, of course, drank soda and juice.

While Sarah drove us home at the end of the night, we engaged in the type of fawning typical of a couple still firmly planted in the infatuation stage. I'm fully convinced that the English language is a discrete combinatorial system based on the number of different ways we've managed to express our love to each other.

At one point, though, Sarah glanced at me, smiled, and said, "I can't wait to break up with you."

Hmm, I thought, Where is she going with this? I smiled back patiently, expecting her to spin this comment into a sweet (or at least comical) nugget. Three seconds went by.

Five seconds. Eight seconds.

The smile that initially seemed so loving now looked mischievous. What the fuck? I thought, but only managed to verbalize the first word:

"WHAT?!?"

Three more seconds of silence passed. Sarah's smile had turned downright sardonic.

"WHY?!?" I pleaded.

A flood of negative thoughts washed through my mind in the short time between those two interrogatives. Exactly how had I blown it? Reasons came quickly:

Our mild disagreement over religious beliefs, discussed at the bar.
My mom's copious bible collection, first seen earlier that day.
My unsuitability as a baby-daddy candidate, which Sarah realized after perhaps deeming my nephews not adorable enough when meeting them earlier that day.
My decidedly wussy taste in music.
Sarah's reluctant acceptance that her only true love is her bunny.
My fucking dorkiness.
My dorky fucking.
Cord's patient, well-planned revenge: somehow getting Sarah to fake our entire relationship.

Eventually, Sarah explained that she had said, "I can't wait to wake up with you," and not what I had mistakenly heard.

Oh.

Location Roundup

2007-11-18T01:12:00.000-05:00

We've seen a lot of each other this week:

at an Electric Six concert (with Sarah's sisters)
at a laundromat
at the Phily Diner
at the Pine Hill Diner
at Ponzio's (with Sean's parents and sister)
at Sarah's place several days (once with Sarah's parents)
at Sean's parents' house
at Sean's place
at a Target
at the third ring of hell
at a Wawa off South Street
at a Wendy's

Sarah said it well: infatuation is the best.

So Sorry

2007-11-17T18:09:00.000-05:00

Last night Sarah and I joined my family for dinner and some theater.

"You don't have to go. It's going to be bad," I warned Sarah, then redundantly added: "It's community theater." I told her this two weeks ago. Then earlier this week. Then yesterday. Several times.

Since a family friend was directing the play, my family and I felt obliged to go. But Sarah didn't have to jump on this grenade with us.

For reasons that are still unclear, she decided to join us anyway. So at 8:00 on a Friday night, the Landi and Sarah sat in the front row of a quaint but picayune theater as the curtain opened to reveal Woodbury's essential rendition of a Neil Simon musical.

When the play ended, my dad immediately turned to Sarah and said, "I'm so sorry you had to sit through that."

We've all seen bad community theater before. This production, however, was horrific on every level: plot, characters, music, acting, singing, direction, set. It wasn't funny bad, or mediocre bad, or even fiasco bad. It was just bad bad.

Worst of all, THE PLAY WAS THREE HOURS LONG. Several circles of hell don't last that long. Most are far less sadistic.

This post, then, is an open apology to Sarah. I know an apology alone doesn't make up for what you underwent. I owe you big time. But I'd like to start the healing process by taking a page out of my father's playbook:

I'm so sorry. I fucked up.

When Sean Figured It Out

2007-11-16T17:11:00.001-05:00

It's a miracle we got together at all.

See, our flirting followed a strict, dorky protocol that involved one of us dropping hints here and there, but veiling them so carefully that even if the other person managed to pick up on them, it would be unlikely that he or she could possibly read enough into them to give them any kind of hopeful meaning. That is, if the other person managed to pick up on them, which would be unlikely in the first place, as the other person would probably be busy trying to drop his or her own prohibitively subtle hints, and then fretting about whether or not he or she was coming on too strong. Upon receiving no reciprocation for the flirty hints that they had intentionally obscured to the extent that no sane person could mistake them for flirting, both parties would eventually be too overcome by self-doubt to pick up on hints from the other, and if by some chance one did pick up on such a hint, it would immediately be dismissed as impossible.

That is the protocol.

Our first kiss was followed by a flurry of confessions from both of us, about the things we'd been too scared to say and and the times we tried to bump into each other and the signs we saw as evidence that the other person wasn't interested and the chances we let slip by and they could all pretty much be summed up thusly: ...but I didn't think you liked me.

I do not recommend our flirting style.

The first conversation we had in person, outside of a classroom, was preceeded by hours of fear on my part and days of patient coaching from my sisters. I shouldn't have even bothered going to my first three classes because I learned nothing; all I could think about was that I was about to hang out with Sean, and, more importantly, that it was going to be a disaster. This was certain. I mentally prepared myself for the imminent embarassment of rejection, vowing to act totally cool, as if I didn't like him.

As I approached the spot where our paths usually crossed, I got even more scared- where was he? I couldn't just stand around looking like the kind of person who stands around waiting for other people because then it would be obvious that I considered him worth waiting for and then he would know that I liked him, and if that sort of intelligence were to fall into his hands I would have to crawl into a hole and die. So I kept walking, telling myself that if he didn't jump out from behind a bush or fall out of the sky by the time I reached my car, I would just drive away.

Right. So I sat down on a curb some distance away where I could watch the spot where we usually saw each other, and from there I was able to see Sean obviously looking for me a few minutes later. I got up from the curb feeling much more confident (that is to say, in possession of any confidence at all) and headed that way.

The first thing he said nailed my thoughts down perfectly. It was something about how we'd built this meeting up into a big thing, and I was horrified that he seemed to already know the extent to which I'd been obsessing over my impending failure as a potential mate, or worse still, as a human. It was out of my mouth before I could stop it:
"Not really."

Reading it in print doesn't do it justice, because the text can't convey the contempt that my "Not really" carried. It was nonchalance at its meanest. I was aware then that whatever hints I may have succeeded in sending his way had just been obliterated, and whatever hints he was thinking about sending my way had just been silenced. If he was going to say anything encouraging before, I'm sure he was thinking better of it now.

But amazingly, after we sat down on the bench and got to talking, I felt much better because I realized for the first time that Sean is shy. I'd listened to him talk for fifty minutes three days a week so I had no idea that in person he was much different. On the bench, I watched him looking away from me and nervously playing with the strap on his back. He's more afraid of me than I am of him, I thought, thrilled, and everything was fine after that.

There was one moment at the end, though, when I slipped up badly and gave away way too much. I couldn't help it. It just came out, and I dwelled on it a lot afterwards.

Kate's advice had been wonderful:

"Always remember that people are not thinking about you and how dumb you may or may not be- they are thinking the exact same self-defeating thoughts you are, just with regards to themselves. Everyone is the center of their own self-defeating universe, and the more you keep this in mind, the more conifdent, and therefore successful, you will be."

Later, I emailed her:

"It wasn't flirty at all, but two things were revealed:
1. He knows my blog very, very well.
2. I think he's afraid of women.

He mentioned that there was a post with about eight things he wanted to comment on because it seemed tailor-made to all of his geeky interests, and I almost blurted out THAT'S BECAUSE IT WAS (I mentioned set theory ... and linked to Dinosaur Comics).

He has very pretty eyes."

Good for You, Geeky Prof!

2007-11-16T13:29:00.000-05:00

I was slowly trying to begin a class on euthanasia today when a student raised her hand to ask a question.

"Is that woman you're with all the time on campus your girlfriend?"

"I'm ... not ... going to answer that," I managed, caught off guard by her non sequitur.

Several other students then mentioned that they had noticed me and Sarah, too, and it was pretty damn obvious, actually, that we were a couple. Further flustered, I fell back on my favorite policy and did not say anything else.

"She's cute," the original student added, and I swear she seemed oddly proud of me.

"OK, so euthanasia..."

Correlation = Causation

2007-11-12T16:54:00.000-05:00

I met Sarah's parents last night. This is what happened:

(See it all)

It's probably not her parents' fault.

Probably not.

-----------
P.S. I love Sarah.

10th Post- Getting Nothing Done

2007-11-10T18:19:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah, we also hung out this afternoon at Sean's place and got nothing done, but this time we pretty much knew that going in. I didn't know, however, that my hair could get so messed up in the process of accomplishing nothing.

We have come to the conclusion that doing stuff was overrated anyway, so we might as well just stare at each other all day.

Infatuation is the best.

Progress Report

2007-11-10T14:52:00.000-05:00

We hung out together last night, each hoping to get some personal stuff done (picking classes and grading), but still wanting to be around each other.

We didn't accomplish much.

Still, that's a nice step.

I Call the Big One "Bitey"

2007-11-09T18:46:00.000-05:00

So I noticed a few giggles and whispers in my 9:00 class this morning. Then came my 10:00 ethics class. I told them on Wednesday that I was hoping to grade their midterms by today.

Well, that didn't happen. There's nothing unusual about this; my procrastination rivals death and taxes. My reason for procrastinating, however, was quite unusual--for me, anyway.

More importantly, though, my reason was still visible this morning. After some more giggles and whispers at the start of the ethics class, one of the gigglers piped up. "Did you grade our midterms?"

"No, sorry."

The room erupted in laughter.

Really, it's that obvious?

Yeah, I guess it is.

All Business

2007-11-09T18:11:00.000-05:00

Thursday, Nov. 8th

All relevant exes are informed of the state of the union. Awkwardness abounds.

I meet Sean's parents for the first time; they buy us dinner at the new diner down the street. They are adorable.

Much biting occurs after all parents have vacated the apartment.

Unfortunately, we don't get to hang out with Sean's friends (see above, re: biting).

Friday, Nov. 9th

At school, a friend (who also took one of Sean's classes) asks what the hell I did to him and whether or not it drew blood. Oops.

Sean's classes laugh at him and his conspicuous bite marks. (Note to Sean: you should post about that.)

The elder Mr. Landis sends his approval (without having seen the injuries in question). Round 1 is complete! Up next is Round 2, this Sunday, when Sean will get to meet my parents.

When I Figured It Out

2007-11-07T17:00:00.000-05:00

(UPDATED for accuracy based on first comment)

A few weeks before our first official date and about a week after we started emailing again after losing touch over the summer, Sarah and I met at school to talk.

We sat on a bench on a pleasant autumn day and had a great conversation. Topics included the internet, our old jobs, our current jobs, wikipedia, our futures, death, the internet, squirrels, google, gossip about students we both knew, her blog, my blogs, classes, and, of course, the internet. The discussion was full of nervous energy. I hardly looked at her. I'm told she hardly looked at me. Such is our lot.

Two hours in, there was a small lull in the conversation. Operating under the assumption that the longer this went, the closer I came to the near certainty of BLOWING IT, I said something like, "This seems like a good time to end this conversation at this juncture."

Oof.

The sentence rolled out awkwardly. "Juncture" was definitely in there somewhere, along with some kind of redundancy. Trying to save it, I only made it worse. "This was fun. We should do this periodically throughout the semester."

OOF.

Fortunately, this bout of social ineptitude emboldened Sarah. Unable to contain her shock, she blurted, "You're such a fucking dork!"

And that's when it first dawned on me.

It couldn't have been clearer if she shouted "JUST ASK ME OUT ALREADY!" She liked me.

Sarah LIKED me.

Tuesday Night

2007-11-07T11:48:00.000-05:00

Things that happened Tuesday night:

Sean gave me a mix cd, notes on the mix cd I gave him, and peanut butter cups

We made pasta for dinner at my place

There was sparkling cider because we're dorks who don't drink

The bunny decided we're not so bad and climbed into our laps

I implored Sean to quit looking at me while I eat :)

An extra toothbrush showed up in the toothbrush holder

The Rooftop Incident

2007-11-06T16:38:00.000-05:00

Imagine: It's dark. More specifically, it's past midnight. It's just a little chilly; there's a soft breeze. We're standing on my roof, together, alone, looking at the town. There's an awkward silence as we stand right next to each other, sleeves just barely touching. Could this finally be it? Does he like me?

No.

From: Sarah
To: Jo, Kate, Jul
Sent: 10/26/07 8:15 AM
Subject: Dinner with lopro- and lots of emoticons

...and we hung out on the couch, just talking, until about midnight.

As we were walking out, I asked if he wanted to see the roof, and he said yes, so we climbed up the ladder, and there was a very interesting moment when we stopped talking and just stood there in the dark being awkward and looking at each other sideways. Finally I caught him looking at me and we looked right at each other for a few seconds, then I smiled and shook my head and said it was cold so we'd better get down from the roof. I know he knows he was supposed to kiss me but the poor dear is way too shy for that. In good time.

So I gave him a hug, he left, and a minute later I texted him: :-)
and he texted me right back: :-) me too!
and I replied: You forgot your pad thai though! :-0
and he wrote back: That's an excuse to visit again soon! :-)

But I was still reserving judgement on the nature of his intentions until I got this ecard a few minutes later (he must have just gotten home): View card

I sent him back a very similar one, and my feet haven't touched the ground since.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

On the roof, I thought that perhaps I should touch him first, but my worst fear was that he'd recoil and say "Hey, you took this whole thing the wrong way. I just wanted to be friends." Then I'd have to throw myself off the roof in embarassment and die. The good news is that the way the Rooftop Incident played out made it much more memorable than if the kiss that was supposed to happen had happened.

More people have been consulted in leading up to our actual first kiss than have been consulted in arranging some of the politically-motivated marriages between the monarchies of Europe. If one were to print out the reams of emails sent back and forth on the subject (between everybody except the two relevant non-kissing parties) and lay the pages end to end, they would stretch around the world- twice. Less planning goes into a launch of the Space Shuttle. More reenactments have been staged of the un-kiss, possibly with more participants, than of some lesser Civil War battles.

I'm not sure what it says about me, or about Sean, or about both of us, that until I got the card I still wasn't sure if he really liked me. Thank goodness for someecards!

...And Counting

2007-11-06T09:55:00.000-05:00

A partial list of people who have participated in reenactments of the rooftop non-kiss:

Ben
Chris
Crissy
Erik
Jess
Jul
Kate
Kyle
Randy

Textversation

2007-11-05T22:48:00.000-05:00

Sarah: I think we should start a blog of stuff we do
Sean: HELL YEAH!
Sarah: I'm on it :)
Sean: We're so good for each other :)